{"id":687,"date":"2018-08-13T10:33:22","date_gmt":"2018-08-13T17:33:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pixel-stained-wretch.com\/wordpress\/?p=687"},"modified":"2018-08-13T10:33:22","modified_gmt":"2018-08-13T17:33:22","slug":"i-am-not-david-redux","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pixel-stained-wretch.com\/wordpress\/2018\/08\/13\/i-am-not-david-redux\/","title":{"rendered":"I am not David Redux"},"content":{"rendered":"

[Author\u2019s Note: A couple of decades ago, I wrote the following essay after I was called, yet again, \u201cDavid\u201d instead of \u201cMichael\u201d during a meeting. It lived on a site of mine for a while until the site, and the service that hosted it, went where all evanescent internet sites go. However, today I saw a cartoon by Chris Hallbeck<\/a> that made me realize that Michael-David-derangement-syndrome was a real thing. So here’s the essay, brought back from the misty archives.]<\/em><\/p>\n

I Am Not David<\/h3>\n

It doesn\u2019t happen every day, but 2 or 3 times a year someone will call me \u201cDavid.\u201d It might be in a business meeting, it might be at a party. Almost always it is someone who has been introduced to me within the last 10 or 20 minutes.<\/p>\n

Perhaps it is a failure of short term memory. I\u2019m sure that\u2019s part of it, and, as far as it goes, it is a failure with which I can completely sympathize. Lord knows, I\u2019m terrible with names myself, and always have to take great pains whenever I\u2019m introduced to anyone new to remember the names I hear so I won\u2019t make a complete fool of myself. But it\u2019s not the inability of other people to recall my name that bothers me. No, it\u2019s that they almost invariably think that they know what my name is \u2013 and somehow, they always think that it\u2019s David.<\/p>\n

I have nothing against the name as such. It\u2019s a good, traditional, easy-to-spell, eminently pronounceable, honest, work-a-day, dependable name. It\u2019s just that a) it isn\u2019t my name, and b) there\u2019s no reason I can see that would make people think that it is. Some names, when you hear them, tend to conjure up a stereotypical image or two: Mortimer. Quincy. Bubba. But what quality is it that inheres in \u201cDavidity\u201d? I just don\u2019t see it.<\/p>\n

I know several genuine Davids. One of my best friends is David the neurologist. Another is my cousin David, the lawyer-turned-restauranteur. There\u2019s also David the musician, David the Shakespearian scholar, and David the multimedia producer. No one could mistake any one of them for any of the others. Other than the fact that they are all adult males, there isn\u2019t much that links them together other than the fact that they are named David and that I know them. They are not each other, I am not they, they are not I.<\/p>\n

A friend of mine once suggested that calling me David was a form of crypto-anti-semitism: after all, David is a Jewish name, and I am Jewish. Calling me David is, according to this theory, an attempt to deny my individuality and pigeon-hole me in an ethnic category. Although I do love conspiracy theories, this one doesn\u2019t work for me. I know of a lot of non-Jewish Davids: David Copperfield, David Letterman, David Rockefeller, David Nelson (son of Ozzie and Harriet), Dafyyd Ap Gwilym. Not only am I Jewish and they are not, I don\u2019t know Micawber, have never been to Indianapolis, haven\u2019t entered politics, don\u2019t have show-biz parents, and don\u2019t write Welsh poetry.<\/p>\n

So why do people consistently call me David? My theory is that everyone has a Platonic name, a name that is really theirs despite what birth certificates, driver\u2019s licenses, social security cards, dossiers, permanent records, wills, stock certificates, and mailings from Publisher\u2019s Clearinghouse may say. This is the True Name, the name by which the universe is uniquely configured to identify you. It has nothing to do with what the name represents, where it comes from, what qualities it evokes, or who else has it. It is simply the True Name, the Platonic Ideal of your name. Mine is, apparently, David.<\/p>\n

But don\u2019t call me David. I probably won\u2019t answer.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[Author\u2019s Note: A couple of decades ago, I wrote the following essay after I was called, yet again, \u201cDavid\u201d instead of \u201cMichael\u201d during a meeting. It lived on a site of mine for a while until the site, and the service that hosted it, went where all evanescent internet sites go. However, today I saw … Continue reading “I am not David Redux”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[19,13,33],"tags":[54,47],"class_list":["post-687","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor-2","category-opinion","category-reminiscence","tag-identity","tag-revelations"],"yoast_head":"\nI am not David Redux - Worlds of Wanwood Leafmeal<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.pixel-stained-wretch.com\/wordpress\/2018\/08\/13\/i-am-not-david-redux\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I am not David Redux - Worlds of Wanwood Leafmeal\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"[Author\u2019s Note: A couple of decades ago, I wrote the following essay after I was called, yet again, \u201cDavid\u201d instead of \u201cMichael\u201d during a meeting. 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