What your coffee knew in June 2022
June 30
On this date in 1953, the first Chevrolet Corvette rolled off the assembly line.
Your coffee wants to ride in one with Buz Murdock and Tod Stiles on Route 66.
June 29
The first Miss Universe pageant was held on this date in 1952.
Your coffee wants to wear a red shift with dark matter pumps in the Miss Expanding Universe pageant.
June 28
On this date in 2007, the American bald eagle was removed from the endangered species list.
Your coffee wants to offer an avian toupee service.
June 27
Joshua Slocum completed the first solo circumnavigation of the Earth on this date in 1898.
Your coffee wants a Mediterranean vacation.
June 24
On this date in 1509, Henry VIII and Catherine of Aragon were crowned King and Queen of England.
Your coffee wants to wish them a long and happy reign.
June 23
The Mars Odyssey space probe completed its 60,000th orbit around Mars on this date in 2015.
Your coffee wants to sing, “The orbits of this probe go ’round and ’round!”
June 22
On this date in 1959, bowler Eddie Lubanski rolled two consecutive 300 games.
Your coffee wants to roll four five-baggers and a four-bagger.
June 21
Nix and Hydra, two of the moons of the dwarf planet Pluto, were officially named on this date in 2006.
Your coffee wants the Avengers to Nix Hydra.
June 20
On this date in 1893, Lizzie Borden was acquitted of committing the axe murders of her father and stepmother.
Your coffee wants a much smaller social media footprint.
June 17
President Joseph Biden signed the bill making Juneteenth National Independence Day a federal holiday on this date in 2021.
Your coffee wants to raise a cup in celebration.
June 16
On this date in 1944, 14-year-old George Junius Stinney Jr. became the youngest person executed in the United States in the 20th century.
Your coffee wants exoneration before execution.
June 15
The U.S. Supreme Court declared that the U.S. could unilaterally extradite and apprehend suspects in foreign countries on this date in 1992.
Your coffee wants you to respect its sovereignty.
June 14
On this date in 1951, the U.S. Census Bureau unveiled the Univac I computer.
Your coffee wants more memory, a larger battery, and a very large carrying case.
June 13
The Peasants’ Revolt, led by Wat Tyler, set fire to the Savoy Palace on this date in 1381.
Your coffee wants them all pulled out after the Savoy truffle.
June 10
On this date in 2002, Kevin Warwick performed the first direct electronic communication experiment between the nervous systems of two humans.
Your coffee wants to set up a security system to protect John Connor.
June 9
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints formally announced the end a 148-year-old policy of excluding black men from its priesthood on this date in 1978.
Your coffee wants to be served to “all worthy men.”
June 8
On this date in 1042, Edward the Confessor became King of England.
Your coffee wants the right to remain silent and to have an attorney present during questioning.
June 7
Priscilla Presley opened Graceland to the public on this date in 1982.
Your coffee wants to rent a room in the motel at end of Lonely Street.
June 6
On this date in 1975, British voters approved continued membership in the European Economic Community.
Your coffee wants to know what happened to the “no backsies” principle.
June 3
Ed White, aboard the Gemini IV spacecraft, performed the first American spacewalk on this date in 1965.
Your coffee wants a hand-held maneuvering unit.
June 2
On this date in 1985, minor league manager Tommy Sandt was ejected from a baseball game before the national anthem was played.
Your coffee wants to speak softly and carry a politely inscribed line-up card.
June 1
The court-martial for malfeasance of Benedict Arnold began on this date in 1779.
Your coffee wants a raise.