What your coffee knew in March 2021.
March 31
On this date in 1906, the Intercollegiate Athletic Association of the United States (now the NCAA) was established.
Your coffee wants to be a palliative treatment for March Madness.
March 30
SpaceX conducted the first orbital class rocket reflight on this date in 2017.
Your coffee wants to be served in a recycled mug.
March 29
On this date in 1990, the Czechoslovakian Hyphen War began.
Your coffee wants to dash to the barricades!
March 26
The groundbreaking ceremony for the Vietnam Veterans Memorial was held in Washington, D.C. on this date in 1982.
Your coffee wants to heal wounds.
March 25
On this date in 1576, actor Jerome Savage took out a sub-lease to start the Newington Butts Theatre outside London.
Heh, heh—your coffee heard you say “butts”!
March 24
American TV viewers saw live images of the Moon’s surface transmitted from the Ranger 9 probe on this date in 1965.
Your coffee wants to photobomb a Mars rover panorama shot.
March 23
On this date in 1806, explorers Lewis and Clark and their Corps of Discovery began their homeward journey.
Your coffee wants a group discount for Travelodge.
March 22
The United States Congress sent the Equal Rights Amendment to the states for ratification on this date in 1972.
Your coffee wants faster service.
March 19
On this date in 1979, daily broadcasts of United States House of Representatives floor action began on C-SPAN.
Your coffee asks unanimous consent to address the House for one minute.
March 18
The Évian Accords ended the Algerian War of Independence on this date in 1962.
Your coffee wants to be brewed with mineral water.
March 17
On this date in 1966, the submarine DSV Alvin located a lost hydrogen bomb off the coast of Spain.
Your coffee wants to know what the other two chipmunks and Dave were doing.
March 16
The first FA Cup final match was held at The Oval in Kennington, London, on this date in 1872.
Your coffee wants biscuits from Ted Lasso.
March 15
On this date in 1927, the first Women’s Boat Race between the University of Oxford and the University of Cambridge took place on The Isis in Oxford.
Your coffee does not want to hear any silly coxswain puns.
March 12
The Industrial Institute and College, the first public college for women in the United States, was founded in Mississippi on this date in 1884.
Your coffee wants a safe space to study.
March 11
On this date in 1986, Popsicle Industries announced it was discontinuing the sales of two-stick Popsicles in grocery stores.
Your coffee wants an orange sherbet push-up pop.
March 10
Mildred E. Gillars, known to the public during WWII as German radio’s “Axis Sally,” was convicted of treason on this date in 1949.
Your coffee does not want to be canceled for bad Hooper ratings.
March 9
On this date in 1897, William Hoskins and William A. Spinks patented billiard chalk.
Your coffee wants to put a little English on this story’s spin.
March 8
Everett Horton patented the telescoping fishing rod on this date in 1887.
Your coffee wants to tie-dye a fly.
March 5
On this date in 1977, President Carter participated in a “Dial-a-President” radio talk show hosted by Walter Cronkite.
Your coffee wants to answer your call—but first turn down your radio.
March 4
Eliza Ballou Garfield became the first woman to see her son inaugurated as U.S. President on this date in 1881.
Your coffee wants a commemorative mug.
March 3
On this date in 1913, the Woman Suffrage Procession took place in Washington D.C.
Your coffee wants to wear a toga and see an allegorical tableaux.
March 2
The Great Slave Auction began in Savannah, Georgia, on this date in 1859.
Your coffee wants to open your eyes.
March 1
On this date in 1805, the impeachment trial of Supreme Court Justice Samuel Chase ended in his acquittal.
Your coffee wants to make a few intemperate and inflammatory, peculiarly indecent and unbecoming, highly unwarrantable, and highly indecent remarks.