What your coffee knew in March 2020.
March 31
A performance of modernist music conducted by Arnold Schoenberg incited a riot in Vienna on this date in 1913.
Your coffee wants to be stirred with a taser-enhanced baton.
March 30
On this date in 1993, Charlie Brown hit his first home run in the “Peanuts” comic strip.
Your coffee suspects Snoopy of stealing signs.
March 27
Pope Clement V excommunicated Venice, Italy, on this date in 1309.
Your coffee wants to go grocery shopping on the Rialto.
March 26
On this date in 1830, Joseph Smith published The Book of Mormon.
Your coffee had tickets for today’s performance but the COVID-19 pandemic has closed the theatre.
March 25
According to tradition, the city of Venice, Italy, was founded on this date in 421.
Your coffee wants to share overripe strawberries with Gustav von Aschenbach.
March 24
On this date in 1765, the British government passed the Quartering Act.
Your coffee would prefer that they shelter at home.
March 23
President Theodore Roosevelt, days after leaving office, embarked on an African safari on this date in 1909.
Your coffee wanted to use Chrome, but Teddy was old school.
March 20
On this date in 1923, the Arts Club of Chicago hosted the first showing in the United States of works by Pablo Picasso.
Your coffee wants two cubists of sugar.
March 19
Located halfway across the observable universe, Gamma Ray Burst 080319B set a new record for the farthest object that was observable with the naked eye on this date in 2008.
Your coffee wants to keep its eyes fully clothed.
March 18
On this date in 1990, the first democratic elections took place in the German Democratic Republic.
Your coffee wants an absentee ballot and a kirschtorte.
March 17
6,000 sheep were found dead of nerve gas poisoning in Skull Valley, Utah, on this date in 1968.
Your coffee wants to sing “Schafe können sicher weiden” ironically.
March 16
On this date in 1789, German physicist and mathematician Georg Simon Ohm was born.
Your coffee does not believe that resistance is futile.
March 13
Chester Greenwood received U.S. patent #188,292 for his invention of earmuffs on this date in 1877.
Your coffee can’t hear you.
March 12
On this date in 2003, the World Health Organization officially warned the world about outbreaks of severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS).
Your coffee wants to chug a bottle of Corona.
March 11
Queen Anne became the last British monarch to veto legislation on this date in 1708.
Your coffee wants a validated loyalty card.
March 10
On this date in 1891, Kansas undertaker Almon Brown Strowger patented the first electromechanical stepping switch telephone exchange.
Your coffee wants a vertical casket with a folding-hinge door.
March 9
Videocassettes of Gone with the Wind went on sale for the first time on this date in 1985.
Your coffee wants to watch a Blu-ray with extras while wearing a gown made from drapes.
March 6
On this date in 1665, the first issue of Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society was published.
Your coffee subscribes for the pictures and cartoons.
March 5
The British pound’s value fell below $2 (U.S.) for the first time in history on this date in 1976.
Your coffee wants a pound of Kuwaiti Dinars.
March 4
On this date in 1974, the first issue of People magazine was published.
Your coffee wants a featured sidebar in Beans magazine.
March 3
The USS Nautilus was decommissioned and removed from the Naval Vessel Register on this date in 1980.
Your coffee wants to help Cmdr. Chekov find the nuclear wessels.
March 2
On this date in 1797, the Bank of England issued its first £1 and £2 notes.
Your coffee wants change it can believe in.