What your coffee knew in July 2009.
July 31
On this day in 2008, baseball outfielder Manny Ramirez was traded from the Boston Red Sox to the Los Angeles Dodgers.
Your coffee is guaranteed to be free of human chorionic gonadotropin.
July 30
Penguin Books published its first paperback, launching the paperback publishing revolution, on this day in 1935.
You know what goes great while you’re reading a good paperback novel?
July 29
On this date in 1987, Ben Cohen, Jerry Greenfield, and Jerry Garcia came up with a new ice cream flavor: Cherry Garcia.
You know what goes great with a bowl of ice cream?
July 28
On this date in 1540, King Henry VIII had his chief minister, Thomas Cromwell, executed, and then married his fifth wife, Catherine Howard.
When you have a full day planned, start it off with a cup of fresh, hot coffee.
July 27
Yankees pitcher Tommy John committed three errors on one play on this date in 1988.
There are worse plays: instant decaf coffee with non-dairy creamer, for example.
July 24
On this date in 1948, Looney Tunes character Marvin the Martian made his cartoon debut in “Haredevil Hare.”
Your coffee was expecting an Earth-shattering kaboom!
July 23
Lance Armstrong won his second Tour de France on this date in 2000.
Your coffee wears a yellow cup jacket.
July 22
On this date in 1926, Babe Ruth caught a baseball dropped from an airplane.
Your coffee grounds into a double-espresso play.
July 21
Today is Ernest Hemingway’s 110th birthday.
Your coffee is being served in a clean, well-lighted place.
July 20
The first humans landed on the Moon on this date in 1969.
Your coffee came in peace—and in three convenient sizes.
July 17
On this date in 1967, Jimi Hendrix was the opening act for The Monkees at the West Side Tennis Club in Forest Hills, New York.
Your coffee says, “Wait, what?!?!”
July 16
Fragments of Comet Shoemaker-Levy 9 began colliding with Jupiter on this date in 1994.
Your coffee really hits the Great Red Spot.
July 15
In Los Angeles on this date in 1904, the first Buddhist temple in the United States was established.
What is the sound of one pot brewing?
July 14
The first public demonstration of ice made by refrigeration happened on this date in 1850.
And so the groundwork was laid for the frappuccino. . . .
July 13
On this date in 1568, Dr. Alexander Nowell, dean of St. Paul’s Cathedral, perfected a method for bottling beer.
Your coffee is the other brown beverage.
July 10
Howard Hughes completed a 91-hour flight around the world on this date in 1938.
Your coffee service will begin after the fasten seat-belt light is extinguished.
July 9
On this date in 1986, homosexuality was decriminalized in New Zealand.
Your coffee celebrates the freedom to be happily Maori-ed.
July 8
Senator William Blount of Tennessee became the first Senator expelled from the United States Senate on this date in 1797.
The quality of your coffee is unimpeachable.
July 7
On this date in 1928, the first loaf of pre-sliced bread was sold.
That’s another thing your coffee is better than.
July 6
The United States Republican Party held its first convention on this date in 1854.
Your coffee wears a whig.
July 3
Mikhail Baryshnikov became a United States citizen on this date in 1986.
Your coffee renounces all foreign allegiances and titles and is of good moral character.
July 2
Today is the middle of the year, with 182 days before it, and 182 more to come.
Your coffee cup is either half-empty or half-full.
July 1
On this date in 1963, the United States Post Office introduced the five-digit ZIP code.
Your coffee’s ZIP code is 96740.